Learning to Love My Body

Learning to Love My Body

At the beginning of the year, I said I wanted to work on accepting my body, we’re now 6 months in so how have I done? My body and I have been on a long old journey and for year’s I have hidden under baggy t-shirt’s and ill-fitting clothes. Why? Well, let’s go all the way back to the beginning and I’ll tell you how my body insecurities came about and how I’m trying to overcome them.Blue, Pink and Black figure hugging lipsy dress - Learning to love my body by Emma Rollason

As a child growing up I was always busy, I had an after school club for everyday of the week, dance classes, swimming training with competitions at the weekends even martial art’s classes the only day’s I would rest were the weekends I wasn’t competing. I would happily walk around in tiny cropped tops and little shorts and not even bat an eyelid, until I hit puberty, then it all changed. It was the cat-calls across the street, the wandering eye’s, the comments, some women thrive for that kind of attention, for me it put me on edge and the more I developed that ‘womanly’ figure the worse it got, and so my clothes got baggier over time to hide what was underneath.

I always wanted to dress like the other girls, but I couldn’t, consistently being told it would attract too much of the wrong attention (which it did). My growing disgust at my body for providing me with the ‘body type every girl wants’ led me on a roller-coaster battle with not only my clothing options but also how I view myself and other’s around me.

I see all these girls wanting ‘bigger boobs’ ‘bigger bum’ ‘smaller waist’ ‘taller’ and I’m here wishing to be more inconspicuous, what I’d give to have their bodies… what they’d give to have mine…

This notion of ‘perfection’ that thing that we strive towards that’s always just out of reach, it’s all in our heads and it come’s from the insecurities that have been embedded into us growing up. Girls/women should look a certain way, guys/men should act a certain way, if they don’t have it/behave in that way they need to change, and if you have it you should flaunt it and accept it. Accept the fact that you’re gonna be cat-called, accept that your gonna have remarks and comment’s made to you, but maybe we should accept not everyone wants the attention that comes with how they look or act, maybe we should all accept we are all beautiful exactly as we are and don’t need to change our body image or the way we act to live up to expectations.

I’ve met people who tell me I shouldn’t hide my body under baggy clothes and numerous layers and accept what I have (flaunt it) but its not in my nature (certainly not anymore at least) but there are day’s like this week when the suns beaming down on us that I don’t want to be walking around in huge clothes, I wanna be able to wear something lightweight and comfortable like everyone else. The detrimental effects of growing up through puberty and the actions of those around me has left me as an adult only now at 25, learning to accept and love my body, learning to accept that it is what it is, I and I can’t/don’t want to change it and that I can go out the house in a cropped tee and short’s without being approached, but maybe that’s because I’ve also toughened up to it and learnt to block it all out and get on with my life rather than focusing on what other’s might be saying or thinking about me.

So how have I done? From January I started purchasing clothes that were actually my size and not 3 sizes bigger, and even bought a belt to accentuate my waist (and hold my jeans up because it’s hard to find jeans that are big enough to fit over your hips but then small enough to cinch in at the waist, although the new paperbag trend is perfect for this). This week, I bought a cropped TIGHTFITTING top…AND… I wore it out to the shops (it was a quick nip in and out) I’m starting to enjoy clothes again, it’s been so long since I’ve really enjoyed shopping for clothes I actually like and get me excited to wear them!

As I learn to embrace my body and love it for everything it does… because lets be real it’s a pretty good body (functionality wise not aesthetically speaking) and one day we will all reflect on what we had and what we did and wish we had embraced it and used it wisely, I ask you all to join with me and embrace your beautiful bodies!

Leave me a comment below about something you love about your body and why you love it, and any body hang up’s you may have and together we’ll learn to love ourselves and each other!!

 

*Image’s are from my Instagram account: emma.rollason

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16 Comments

  1. June 26, 2018 / 5:15 pm

    Absolutely amazing post. I have really bad issues with my body and has stopped me moving forward. Really no confidence. But this was really uplifting. For what it’s worth you are beautiful as you are. Have a great day 🙂

    • June 26, 2018 / 6:24 pm

      Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you found it uplifting, I hope one day you too can look back on how far you’ve come and what you’ve achieved. Wishing you a wonderful day too x

  2. June 26, 2018 / 9:27 pm

    This is such an amazing post I absolutely love it! So happy you’re finally accepting your body you have such an amazing figure you shouldn’t have to hide it under baggy clothes! I don’t think anybody will ever be completely happy with their figure we always want to be ‘skinnier/taller/more toned’ etc. I know I’d definitely love to have thinner legs and be a bit shorter so I could buy skirts and dresses without worrying they’re going to be too short for my 5″11 self and show my bum! This is a great way to encourage people to become more body confident so well done you! Also I LOVE that belt you got!

    Jess // foundationsandfairytales.wordpress.com
    xx

    • June 26, 2018 / 9:56 pm

      I have the same issue with skirts and dresses, I wish they did more ‘tall girl’ sections or made different lengths like they do in jeans. I literally have to hold up every item to see whether it’s even worth taking it over to the fitting room haha, I’m 5’9 so I feel your shopping pain. Thank you so much for your lovely words, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! P.S. the belt is from River Island xx

      • June 26, 2018 / 9:59 pm

        Tell me about it! The tall sections are terrible literally have like 3 or 4 skirts and dresses and they’re never as nice as the normal section ones! Also stores never stock the tall section it’s so annoying when you have to order online and pay for delivery only to find you don’t like it! No problem lovely and aw thanks for telling me I’ll have to have a look!xx

  3. June 27, 2018 / 12:03 am

    Everyone has their hang ups and just like you I’ve hidden behind baggy tops and jumpers for years. I’ve always been super conscious of my tummy area because that’s where I carry the most weight (sort girl problems…). It was only at the start of this year that I started dressing for my size and not the size I am in my head. I realised I was wearing size 14 clothes when I’m actually a size 10. Now I’m buying the clothes I want to and rocking what I want because life’s too short to hide away.

    Don’t get me wrong, I have days where I revert back to that girl I used to be but that’s okay. I take that day and start a new one the next.

    Just as a side note: you have an INCREDIBLE figure. Embrace everything about yourself and know you’re absolutely stunning.

    Louisa | http://www.loubeeloublogs.co.uk

    • June 27, 2018 / 1:57 pm

      I’m so glad your rocking the clothes you really want to! I have day’s, especially that special week of the month all us girls have to go through, where I want to hide under my baggy clothes and that’s ok, sometimes I still wear my baggy clothes because that’s what I ‘want’ to wear them not because I feel I should. You’re absolutely gorgeous yourself Louisa, and keep rocking those amazing clothes!! xx

  4. June 27, 2018 / 10:26 am

    It’s nice to see you loving your body because you are beautiful!❤️ I have always loved my body since I was a kid but since last year, where I’ve put butt loads of weight on, I have really started to hate mine. But life moves on🤷‍♀️

    • June 27, 2018 / 2:01 pm

      Thank you for your lovely words, you should be proud of your body <3 xx

    • June 27, 2018 / 3:34 pm

      Thank you Annelies, it really is so important! xx

  5. June 27, 2018 / 3:08 pm

    I’ve honestly spent my entire life until recently believing I was absolutely huge, admittedly I’ve always been larger than average but when I look back, I never looked as bad as I thought I did in that moment. I dropped a stone and a half within 3 weeks last year as I got terribly ill and although at the time it was a ‘silver lining’ to my illness and my body looked good, my face was completely gaunt and you could see how malnourished and unwell I was. I realised I much preferred me heavier and healthier and that’s when it all clicked for me! Your body is for keeping you alive, it’s for feeding you and supporting you and not for anyone else’s enjoyment without consent, but yourself. Learning to love your body is a bloody difficult journey for everyone and I’m so glad you’re on better terms with yours now! You have an absolutely fabulous figure and you should embrace it. Some men are and always will be gross and leer at you but like you’ve mentioned, it’s not something we should just have to “put up with”. Hopefully more respect will come with the newer generations as feminism rises. What a fabulous post Emma! I look forward to seeing more outfit shots from you 😄
    Alice Xx

    • June 27, 2018 / 4:19 pm

      Hindsight is a funny thing isn’t it? But it’s also a great way of seeing how far you’ve come. ‘You’re body is for keeping you alive, it’s for feeding you and supporting you and not for anyone else’s enjoyment without consent, but yourself’ Amen to that!! Thank you reading Alice, I’m glad you enjoyed it xx

  6. June 27, 2018 / 4:45 pm

    I absolutely love this post Emma 💖. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s so relatable and inspirational to read. My weight has gone up and down over the years and I’ve been always striving towards a goal instead of feeling happy where I am. So now I’m also trying to accept my body and just focus on feeling healthy and content. I love your line: one day we will reflect on what we had and wished we embraced it. So true! Thank you for the important reminder 💕.

    By the way, I think you look stunning and I’m glad you are accepting your body because you have an amazing figure! Go girl! 😘 xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

  7. June 27, 2018 / 6:47 pm

    Honestly I absolutely love this post! It’s so relatable and definitely something that I’m sure loads of people can understand, having felt the same way. So happy you are accepting your body because it’s gorgeous! Such an amazing figure 😘

    Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

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